Before I dig into this, I have to write a disclaimer that I AM NOT THE PERFECT EXAMPLE of the perfect friend (if that even exist?!) but I can say I have great examples of wonderful friends and have made my own mistakes.
So now that that’s out in the open, let’s all admit that its so much easier to make friend and be great friends in college. You’re living together, getting drunk together on vodka lemonades, and spending late nights at the library.
And then you graduate.
Everyone warns you about the of change jobs, working for hours, and living with your parents (maybe?) after college. But nobody warns you about the slight depression you go through when you are no longer a hallway down from your girlfriends and you shamelessly watching hours of Real Housewives together. Nope. You learn about this depression when you’re sitting on the couch alone on a Tuesday night and dreading waking up at 6 am in the morning for work the next day.
What’s even harder is that you have to adjust to not seeing your friends as often and soon enough you might even realize you’re losing some friendships.
Trust me, I’ve been there. So here’s how to not be a shitty friend after college and stay bffs.
KNOW WHO YOUR REAL FRIENDS ARE
Everyone is friends in college right? All those late nights running into each other at the bar or the McDonalds on a Sunday morning can make you feel really close. But keep in mind as soon as you graduated you’re going to have to make an effort (more on this later) and unless you’re planning on driving all over town to meet 30 different people for coffee and spreading yourself thin, you need to the people you would rather see every weekend because those are the relationships you should maintain. I’d rather have 5 amazing best friends than 30 friend-aquentiences, right?
MAKE AN EFFORT (DUH)
I honestly feel so silly that I even have to write this but I am also not the best at this so my mistakes are you gains. Be there. Be present. There’s literally nothing worst that feeling like you’re not a priority for a friend that you’ve feel like you can rely on. So make the effort to be a good friend – plan happy hours, show up to birthdays, send gifts, letters, and texts when you can. As Jesus once said (i think), treat your friends how you’d like to be treated and you’ll continue to be bffs because you’re both GIVING as much as your TAKING. Simple math.
DON’T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF (UNLESS IT KEEPS HAPPENING OVER AND OVER…)
Ok life’s all about forgiving people and making up, but just because you keep fucking up doesn’t mean you’re relationship is going to remain as strong as it once was. Totally fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me logic but maybe more than twice and less that 100. It’s ok to fuck up as a friend and it’s totally ok to forgive a friend. But my issue is when you make up and shit keeps hitting the fan and someone always ends up putting in more effort and forgiving and the other is abusing that. Don’t do that. Be cautious, tell it as it is, forgive and fix whatever issues you have. Otherwise your friendship will be like Scott and Kourtney – there, but like, not really there.
KEEP YOUR BEST FRIENDS CLOSER AND YOUR OTHER FRIENDS AROUND
Now I wasn’t going to be all pessimistic and mean you have to pick and choose your friends. Know which friends on you can rely on when you’re happy, sad, engaged, newly single, and so on. But don’t completely chuck everyone else out of your life. Make an effort (aka point 1) to grab coffee here and there. Don’t hold grudges (sorry everyone in college for being a brat sometimes). And comment and like and snap friends because it’s fun to have friends 🙂
OK END OF RANT. Now go send a puppy filter snapchat to your gals and let them know how much you appreciate them <3